Enforce This

Vespas are my thing. I have wanted one since I was in second grade. My teacher drove one to school through the Boston suburbs and even though she was not young or pretty, she wore pegged pants and looked vaguely European with her curly bob and narrow hips. Plus, a.) she moved faster than me on my bike, and b.) she got to drive alone. That was all I needed. I was hooked.

So here’s my question: why are there no Vespa cops? First, there were cops on horseback. Then they got motorcycles. Then bikes. And now apparently they’re issuing dirt bikes. I saw two of them the other day in the Mission looking like they were headed to a BMX rally. God knows why they branched out in that direction before tapping the Vespa market. If you think about it, it’s a fantastic idea: non-threatening, community-friendly and stylish. I guess it’s a question of priorities: before they can go Italian stylin’, they’ve got to get rid of the polyester pants and the random beatings. The motorcycle boots are a good first step though.

(For those of you who are already hooked, check out the Vespa porn.)