Happy Holidays

To cut back on holiday stress, I am giving everyone on my list exactly the same thing, and this is what it is: a Twinkie home bake set. It’s a brilliant idea: fun for the kids, irony and memories for the adults. And my foreign friends who have never eaten a food made entirely out of preservatives will reconsider their prejudice when they taste the homebaked goodness and be tricked into supporting that sink hole of American culinary culture, Hostess. Once, anyway.

I have dubbed the bizarre whipped cream injection syringe The Impaler. As a British friend remarked about this equally peculiar instrument, “It is a bit urgent, isn’t it?”