Three Bugs…I Mean “Features”

  1. I have no sense of direction whatsoever. At all. Ever. Even in New York, where most of the town is arranged on a grid and where I lived for years, I have to stand for a moment on the corner when I come out of the subway and remember that the traffic on Lexington runs one way downtown which means that if I am facing with the traffic, the west side is to my…um…right. I guess. They’ve just installed sidewalk compasses around midtown to help differently abled people like me. But they’re in midtown. Where I never go. So that worked out.
  2. I have no ability to judge future weather based on current weather. If it is 70 degrees outside and I am wearing jeans and a T-shirt, if you tell me that tomorrow it will be 58 or 76 or 84, I will still get up and put on the same thing. My imagination kicks in at 20 degrees and at 90 degrees. At 20, I will put on everything I own. At 90, I will wear as few clothes as I can get away with without getting arrested. Anywhere in between, I am just as likely to turn up in a turtleneck when it’s 78 as I am a tank top when it’s 52.
  3. Despite that fact that I have made my living off the internet for a decade, I cannot find anything on the web. I go to Google. I search. I get back nothing even remotely related to what I was looking for. My first theory was that this was because search engines are stupid. I abandoned this as possibly being a gross generalization. Now I think I just don’t think in the same language patterns as other people. This will probably come as no surprise to anyone who has talked to me for more than seven minutes.

Categories: News, Nuisance, Miscellany


Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: