We went to the closing day horse races yesterday at Bay Meadows. I neglected to wear a hat. It turns out this was the right choice, as horse racing at Bay Meadows bears about as much resemblance to polo in Pretty Woman as that trannie prostitute on my old corner bears to Paris Hilton: they have some things in common but it doesn’t make them the same.
It was a little mini Vegas casino but without the haze of cigarette smoke and the free drinks. And there were horses. Beautiful sleek horses that are way above the sleazy betting surrounding them.
Speaking of sleazy betting, I won eight dollars and ten cents! That’s a ten-cent profit on what I put down. Here’s how that rolled with the teller:
Me: This is my first bet ever.
Him (fully bored): Yeah?
Me: It’s an exciting moment for both of us!
Him (nodding at R behind me): You and him?
Me: No! You and me!
Him (no less bored): Oh. Yeah.