cookiemonster I’m just home from another party to which I brought these super-excellent chocolate chip cookies. Everyone loves these cookies. Or at least I think they do. People tell me they do and I believe them. And no one’s every piped up that they can’t stand them. Which means either

a.) I know only polite people, or

b.) Everyone does in fact love them and they are as super-excellent as I think they are.

If it’s the former, I may be on a slippery slope all around. Polite people also don’t tell you how much your terrible haircut sucks because that would hurt your feelings. So you walk around looking chubby and odd for a month until it grows out, and you’re none the wiser. Or they don’t tell you that you interrupt a lot so you don’t realize you’re a bad listener until you’re breaking up with a mean jerk who blurts it out in the middle of an argument. But then you’re not sure if it’s true or not because he’s mean and a jerk and you’re arguing. So then you’re just confused and think that maybe you might need therapy to get un-confused. But your therapist is never going to tell you you talk too much, because you’re paying her to listen to you, right? So how do you know?

You don’t. Unless you ask one of your best friends, who is obliged to tell you the truth but in a nice way because

a.) That’s the best friend deal, and

b.) She has to be seen with you a lot, so it’s in her best interest to help you be better and less odd and interrupting.

Speaking of which, one of my best friends gave me this recipe and hooked me up with the cookie sheet banging trick (noted below) which, by the way, works across the board. Especially with souffles. If you like your souffles chewy. 

Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever

1.5 sticks of butter
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg + 1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 cups + 2 tbsp. all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1.5 cups chocolate chips


Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Use middle rack.

Melt butter first. In a bowl, combine and mix both sugars and the melted butter. Add egg, yolk, and vanilla to sugar mixture and mix.

In a separate bowl, whisk flour and soda together. Add flour mixture to sugar mixture and mix. Add chips and mix thoroughly.

Form cookie dough into balls and pat down a bit on cookie sheet. Bake 6 minutes or until cookies start to rise. Take sheet out of the oven and bang it on the counter or edge of oven to flatten the cookies. Bake another 2-5 minutes. If you want the cookies to be chewy, take them out after another 2-3 minutes, They may still look a little pale and undercooked but they’ll firm up in a few minutes. If you prefer crispier cookies, leave them in until they’re brown. (If you want cake-y cookies, skip the banging step.)

Categories: News, Nuisance, Miscellany


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