mmmmmmmm

“Stop right there! Can you pile all of those items into a single bowl and just kinda make them into a wet mound of starch that I can eat with a spoon like I’m a death-row prisoner on suicide watch? … Is there a way that the bowl can play This Mortal Coil’s It’ll End in Tears album while I’m eating it at two in the morning in my darkened apartment, just kind of staring into the distance? … If you could put my lunch in a blender and liquefy it and put it into a caulking gun and then inject it right into my femoral artery, even better. But until you invent the lunch gun, I would like a failure pile in a sadness bowl.”

—Patton Oswalt, ordering one of KFC’s Famous Bowls