Kitchen Update

This housecleaner chick is killing me. I had to make cookies the other day and couldn’t find the cookie sheets. Anywhere. How the hell do you hide a cookie sheet in a studio apartment? They’re flat, I grant you, but they’re big. They’re wide. There are only so many shelves, cupboards and areas under things that will hold a cookie sheet. She is making me crazy. Every second Monday (or Tuesday, depending on her whim), I come home braced for what she’s done this time. Like make the bed with the sheets untucked and all on the left. Vacuum only one side of a room. Leave the back door open.

Leaving anything clean in the dishwasher or dish drainer is like shark bait. It’s just an opening for her to demonstrate her full potential, like giving a box of crayons to a kid with a white wall in front of her. Sometimes I think she must have a system – like the first thing she picks up from the dish drainer goes in the silverware drawer, the second thing in the drawer below it and so on around the kitchen – but I may be giving her too much credit. If it weren’t so infuriating, it’d be fascinating. She may have finally rounded the bend on making me insane and is moving into the territory of being impressive. I might have to get a nanny cam to catch the action.