- Remove money from wallet. Carry around in rolls. (Rolls make thighs look odd. Roll up each bill separately. Decide maybe this is a guy thing.)
- Watch Ocean’s Eleven and Thirteen, The Cooler and Viva Las Vegas.
- Put shoe polish in hair. Put on slinky 1960s swimsuit. Sing all the verses to “The Lady Loves Me,” while pretending to be Elvis and Ann-Margret. Shower.
- Take half the rolled-up money and hide it from self for half an hour. Give self back a fraction of the hidden money. Repeat until all money is hidden. Do not cry.
- Do not watch Casino, Leaving Las Vegas, or Vegas Vacation.
- Smoke a thousand cigarettes.
- Think about watching Showgirls. Don’t.
- Download slot machine sound effect. Loop it. Play for three days.
- Put on oxygen mask. Stay up for 24 hours.
- Watch Revolver.
- Re-read scary impressive New York Times Magazine article on gambling machine designer guy. Wonder if that dude needs any new friends.
- Pack velour jumpsuit.
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