Las Vegas: Outtake

I’m writing a play. I only tell you this because going to Vegas reminded me of a conversation I wrote for the play.

Person 1: Tigers remind me of Siegfried and Roy. They’ve almost ruined a perfectly good animal. Although that one tiger definitely made inroads by eating Roy.
Person 2: I always thought he survived because he’s almost completely synthetic. The tiger just couldn’t chew through it.
Person 1: You know how they met? I read about this. Roy was a bellboy or something on a cruise and – I kid you not, this was on a website I found – was ‘traveling with a cheetah he stole.’ How do you steal a cheetah? I thought cheetahs were super fast. Roy doesn’t look that speedy, does he?
Person 2: Maybe he has bionic legs.
Person 1: Why are you defending him? He’s a cat thief.
Person 2: I’m not. I’m just saying maybe he didn’t actually have to chase the cheetah down. Maybe it went willingly.
Person 1: What?!
Person 2: And how do you get a cheetah on a ship without anyone knowing anyway?
Person 1: One of those carry-on cases.
Person 2: “Yes, this is my compressed, completely legal cheetah in this pocketbook-sized duffle.”
Person 1: “And you should start the hourly meat deliveries to my quarters as soon as possible.”

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Categories: News, Nuisance, Miscellany

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