Update

What I want: a motorcycle with a sidecar. Like the one in Garden State. Also: goggles and a leather helmet and possibly a dog (depending on the size of the sidecar).

What I do not want: succulents. Think “succubus.” Not very nice, is it?

What I understand: Susan Boyle’s new look. Learning how to look good is a wonderful thing, no matter how old you are when you get around to it. If only more people realized they could do more with what they have, maybe we’d have fewer 300-pound women in leggings, airline passengers in sweatpants and men in pleated pants with odd-colored T-shirts.

What I do not understand: How Jamie Lee Curtis ended up shilling for women’s “regularity” and Activa Yogurt when she is still such a sexpot, with her graying hair and naughty smile.