Segway Update

A herd of suited staffers or Representatives or some such swarm out onto the esplanade behind the Capitol. R and Brian and I are making a nuisance of ourselves, whizzing around the plaza on our Segways as fast as they’ll let us go (which is sadly only 10mph).

Guy in a Suit: So what’s better, the tour or those things?
R: What tour?

For starters, I’d like to thank the dude who made the Segway up out of thin air (even though he definitely needs a different haircut). Next, I’d like to thank me or Brian or whichever one of us had the f’ing brilliant idea of renting them to whip around D.C.

I’ve watched the helmeted Segway tourers tool around Paris and San Francisco and have wondered if it was really worth it, given that no one in a group and a helmet looks cool. (You can’t just rent a Segway and take off. Trust me, I asked.) My doubts were needless. Yes, it’s worth it. Get your on-foot ass over to the Segway depot and ante up. It’s an awesome choice worth the time (three hours) and the money ($70).

The tour hits all the major landmarks (Smithsonian, the Capitol, the White House) and is higher on amusing anecdotes than info, but that’s not the point. Being able to get around the city rapidly is an ideal way to orient yourself to what’s on offer, especially in a city where there are a lot of things to see and they’re a fair distance apart (like D.C. or Paris). Besides, you can get the basic historical and cultural info pretty much anywhere else (online, pamphlets at every location, etc.).

Our mileage count was about double the actual distance the rest of the tour logged because of all our attempted wheelies (failed), racing and spinning, but our feet only hurt about a third as much as they would’ve if we’d walked all that way. (You are still on your feet the whole time, so wear comfortable shoes.)

Grab your buddy, make sure you pick the cooler-looking guide, avoid the whiners, and get on board. It’s fun. Really.

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Categories: News, Nuisance, Miscellany


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