White House Crashers

I just have to weigh in on this thing with the reality TV show candidates crashing the White House state dinner last week. Why? Because

1. I do not like reality TV, especially watching grown women act like spoiled four-year-olds.
2. I am one of those self-righteous etiquette watchdogs who make exasperated noises at people on cellphones in Starbucks.

My instinctive response? “Jail ’em, the tacky bastards!! Bring out the cone of shame!!”

I’m glad to see that a couple of Senators agree with me: levy charges to discourage idiocy in all its forms. But I’m pretty sure Obama will come down on the side of a scolding only because he’s a stay focused on what’s important kind of guy.

Whatever. I say it’s time to bring out the manners hammer, boys!! This is your chance!

And while you’ve got everybody in the room and all worked up, if you could issue some kind of prohibition against bankers and older men wearing cellphone headsets when they’re not actually on the phone and couples arguing loudly in restaurants and girls who just came from the gym chatting loudly on their cellphones about their boring, boring social lives while waiting for their skim, two-Splenda, light whip, double shot lattes, you’d make my day. No other holiday present needed.