You know when it’s freezing outside and you’re wearing gloves or fuzzy mittens (or you’re a werewolf and have hairy fingertips year-round) and you’re trying to take a picture with your iPhone, or answer your iPhone, or text someone on your iPhone, or do ANYTHING on your iPhone and you CAN’T?
Well, as my little New Year’s present to you, I’ve solved your problem.
There I was in the freezing Colorado dusk vainly trying to slide that little unlock bar across the front of my phone with my gloved finger so I could take a picture. No luck. I kept trying. And by “trying” I mean doing the exact same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result. Stubborn? Yes. Ineffective? Also that.
You know what works though? Licking.
That’s right, kids, the iPhone is just looking for a human touch, appendage indiscriminate. (If you’re squeamish about sanitation, you could use an alcohol swab on the face of the phone pre-licking, but that would also require removing your gloves, so six of one, half dozen of the other. A little dirt never hurt anyone. Think of it as a friendly reminder to your immune system to stay on top of things.)
A little swipe of the tongue and it unlocks. Another touch and photo complete. Your phone just needs a little love, that’s all.
You can thank me later.
Displaced 
I love my iPhone but I’m not going to make out with it, Emma.