I Need This

OK, so even if I didn’t completely, totally, absolutely, without doubt need to have this, I would still have to buy one because it’s called the “Arsscoot.” I will be pronouncing this “Arse scoot” even if that is not the correct pronounciation.

I definitely need this. I know it’s raining today but my arse needs scooting, and so does A’s little arse and raincoats are readily available. Rain be damned. We’ll get cool leather helmets and matching goggles (because that never looks creepy on moms and kids, right?).

I have a whole plan. We’ll rent one of those little white dogs with short ears that droop at the tips and he’ll wear goggles too and sit with A. in the sidecar. (I can’t abide small dogs, hence the renting. I won’t be able to hear the yipping over the wind noise, right?)

Of course, the three of us won’t be able to go anywhere practical because a.) there will be no room to bring anything along or bring anything back, and b.) by all accounts, these things are super unsafe. We’ll just tool around the ‘hood looking fantastic. There’s a UPS store a few blocks from our place, so we’ll just head there first and buy enough bubble wrap to wrap up baby and puppy. Done.

Wave when you see us! I’m sure we won’t look crazy at all. At. All.