Displaced

First, you were a coke addict. And now you’ve ruined my life. YOU told me to vote for Viola Davis and I did. So I changed my vote from Penelope Cruz and now I’m losing and we’ve barely started and man do I hate to lose.

Also, I voted for In Bruges instead of Milk for screenplay because, let’s face it, Milk was an important movie but not a great screenplay. Plus, I got engaged in Bruges, so what was I gonna do? I forgot this whole deal was in Hollywood. Stupid southern California.

Geez. I hate everyone. Especially David Carr. I’ll be right back: I’ve got to go find some more liquor.

I look in the fridge for butter for my English muffin. This is what’s there: Challenge Butter. A nice rectangular box of butter sticks emblazoned with a throwdown of a name and what looks like a very irritated buck.

Seriously, people? Really? Now? In my last week on the job? With everything shifting, my dairy products are bringing it?

What’s with the attitude, deer? You’ve got a nice view, a calming view, a lake, mountains. What’s up? Anger management issues? Someone cut you off at the salt lick? Or is this just who you are? Seeing red for no reason? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re just itching for some action.

You know me: I can’t walk away from a fight. I’ll take you down, I swear I will. Don’t push me. Put down that broken bottle and let’s take this outside and settle it like…a girl and a ruminate.