Displaced

It’s been a rush of holiday prep around here lately, punctuated by feeding my seasonal addiction to Starbucks’ gingerbread lattes (light whip, no nutmeg – yes, I am that person in line in front of you with a lot written on her red cup, thank you very much, it’s only this time of the year, so back on up off-a me, ah-right?)

Today I dashed off to collect my liquid fix while R. got A. and her stroller into the car to go home.

Me: I got lucky! No wait. This whole herd of teenagers came in just after me.
R: Is that the right word? Herd?
Me: Like a gaggle? “An annoy of teenagers?”
R: Like “a murder of crows.”
Me: Yeah.
R: “A punishment of teenagers.”
Me: Yeah, that’s it.

R has not seen The Shadow, that terrible, terrible Alec Baldwin movie from 1994 so I watched it with him last weekend.

When Lamont Cranston (worst alter-ego name ever) dresses up as the Shadow, he wears a big flamenco hat and a bandana over his lower face.

Me: That is not Alec Baldwin.
R: Yeah it is.
Me: That is not Alec Baldwin’s nose. It’s huge.
R: The Shadow Nose!
Me: That’s not how that’s spelled.

I’ve just started working with an organization that pairs younger mobile people with homebound seniors. The youngers visit the olders in their homes. Easy enough.

But then I have to think of things to say to a stranger.

Me: Hello.
Older: Good morning.
Me: ….
Older (calls organization): I would like to return my current person and get a different person.

Let me try again.

Me: Good morning.
Older: Good morning.
Me: How’s tricks?
Older: Not good.
Me: Yahtzee anyone?
Older: …
Me: Boggle?
Older: Can I get some help in here?

This is going to go great.