Displaced

I was trying to text R (who’s on a train to Baltimore) about how fantastic Tina Fey looked presenting for the screenplay awards and my phone suggested “Tuna Dry”. I hate my phone.

“You look like you work at a Hassidic meth lab.”

– Natalie Portman to Ben Stiller dressed as Joaquin Phoenix

I’m not kidding, she just said in reference to Sex and the City: The Movie, “Best movie of the year. No question.”

Is six feet too far to tackle someone from a sitting start?

First, you were a coke addict. And now you’ve ruined my life. YOU told me to vote for Viola Davis and I did. So I changed my vote from Penelope Cruz and now I’m losing and we’ve barely started and man do I hate to lose.

Also, I voted for In Bruges instead of Milk for screenplay because, let’s face it, Milk was an important movie but not a great screenplay. Plus, I got engaged in Bruges, so what was I gonna do? I forgot this whole deal was in Hollywood. Stupid southern California.

Geez. I hate everyone. Especially David Carr. I’ll be right back: I’ve got to go find some more liquor.