One side of my brain: I have the whole day to myself in the apartment! This is going to be great!
The other side of my brain: Sure, whatever.
First side: What?
Other side: Nothing.
First side: I cancelled everything. I have the whole, huge, empty day ahead of me with no interruptions! Hooray! The question is, “What won’t I get done?”
Other side: Mmmhmmm.
First side: I’m gonna return all those emails and then write and make lunch and send thank you notes and make those calls and clean up the garden and send out that stuff and…
Day happens. Not a good day.
First side: What the #$(*#>?! happened?
Other side: You know it ain’t like that.
First side: What the hell?
Other side: You can’t handle all that time stretchin’ on ahead of you. It freaks you out. You’re psychologically agoraphobic. You need structure. You’re like some little kid with too many toys just sittin’ there starin’.
First side: Am not.
Other side: Are too. And your day is my witness.
First side: Goddamit.